When will my child be toilet trained?

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Transitioning from nappies to undies is a significant milestone that children may reach in their youth. Parents may begin to wonder if they should be potty training their child at a certain age. For children who are learning this skill, it is important to understand that it is a complex task that involves a combination of physical and cognitive skills and body awareness and that children may reach this level of skill acquisition at varying ages. This blog will highlight how parents and caregivers can support their children through the toilet training process, and explore reasons why some children may face difficulties with this milestone.

What skills are needed for a child to be toilet trained?

There are a range of skills that children need to master to be able to independently toilet. They require:

Physical strength – core strength to actively pass a bowel movement and maintain an upright posture on the toilet
Motor skills – gross motor skills to get on and off the toilet, and the fine motor skills to manipulate clothing and toilet paper
Cognitive skills – the ability to recall and enact the multi-step instruction of toileting
Communication skills – the ability to communicate verbally or nonverbally the urge to go to the toilet
Interoceptive skills – being able to understand the body cues related to toileting, including recognising a full bladder or the need for a bowel movement
Sensory processing skills – the ability to understand and tolerate the sensory experience involved in passing a bowel movement or emptying your bladder

How can I help my child to learn toilet training?

Independent toileting has become an expectation of children within our society. However, it should be recognised that children can learn this skill at different ages of life, and some children may never be able to independently toilet. However, there are ways you can encourage your child to develop the aforementioned skill areas required for independent toileting:

Practise dressing skills – this ties into the broader self care skill of dressing, but can still be valuable for learning toileting skills. This can encourage your child to play an active role in the dressing process until they are independent, for example, by helping your child by holding the clothing while they put their arms and legs through the holes. Use a step-by-step approach to help the child become comfortable with each action involved in dressing and undressing.
Practise wiping – fasten two balloons to the back of a stool (to simulate buttocks) and smear a sticky paste between the two balloons, for example peanut butter or nutella, and have your child sit on the stool and practise efficient wiping.
Visual charts for the steps required to toilet – have next to the toilet a visual chart of the steps to toileting (including doffing clothes, wiping, donning clothes, flushing, washing hands). Use simple images or symbols to make it easy for the child to follow.
Practise with dolls – Use dolls or stuffed animals to demonstrate and practise the steps of toileting. Have the child help the doll go through the process, such as pulling down pants, sitting on the toilet, and wiping. This helps the child understand and practise the steps in a playful manner. Children learn best through play!
Read books about toileting – Read age-appropriate books about toileting with the child. Look for books that explain the process and address common feelings and questions. These can help with understanding of the toileting experience for the child.
Engage in body awareness games – Encourage children to develop an understanding of their body by engaging in activities that help them recognize and respond to bodily cues. For example, play games that involve identifying different body parts or practising movements related to toileting. Activities like “Simon Says” or discussions about what toileting sensations may feel like can support this.

How do developmental delays or disabilities impact children’s toileting skills?

If a child has difficulty with their motor skills, due to low tone or low strength and difficulty coordination, they may find it physically challenging to complete the steps required for toileting, such as pulling down pants, sitting on the toilet, and wiping. Additionally, low tone in the muscles can pose risks for maintaining balance and posture. A child may have difficulty with their fine motor skills, including strength, dexterity, or coordination, which may impact their ability to don and doff clothing and manage toilet paper independently.

Children with disabilities commonly have differences in their sensory sensitivities, which can translate to rigidity in toilet habits and difficulty adapting to the sensory aspects of toileting, such as the feel of the toilet seat, the sound of flushing, or the sensation of wiping.

Children who have difficulty with toileting, either due to physical or sensory challenges, may need assistance or adaptive equipment to support their toileting needs. Some children may never toilet independently and may require continence supplies to support their quality of life. It is important to consider the societal expectation of toileting independently and to recognise that some individuals may never be able to do this.

Who do I see if I have concerns?

At Strong and Courageous Kids, we support families to better understand a child’s strengths and provide effective evidence-based interventions to support a child’s development. Our therapists are specially qualified to help identify reasons as to why a child may be having difficulties toileting and to address it with different modalities and therapies.